He Will Wipe Away Your Tears
Once upon a time, I lost control. I am terrible at dealing with change. Most of my posts lately have been about worry, letting go, and giving up my need for control because in this part of my life, I am learning that God is ultimately in charge of my life. Anyone who thinks they have it all together, take a look in the mirror. God, our heavenly Father is constantly molding and shaping us. As of now, I am back down at the base of my roller coaster... I lost control and am struggling for God to pull me back up.
This past week I was on my way to visit family when.... I lost control. We pulled off at Wendy's to get a drink and take a restroom break when my mind gave in to hell. See, earlier that morning I was mistakenly given a grande latte instead of my usual tall. Ladies and gentlemen, I am now refraining from caffeine for the next several weeks. Standing in line, I felt my body going limp as the fear of fainting came over me. My mind immediately pulled together these thoughts...
1) You are having an aneurysm and will die shortly.
2) You're blood sugars are messed up and you will be diagnosed with diabetes.
3) You are having a heart attack.
4) You're mentally unstable and need to be checked into a mental hospital.
See, what most likely happened is that I experienced a caffeine rush which in turn sent my heart racing. I had little to eat that morning, so caffeine on a nearly empty stomach will of course bring on panic attacks. On top of the caffeine, I felt a panic attack coming on for a good 2 weeks and simply tried to avoid it at all costs. However, what I learned is that it's better to give in and let go then store and save up a whole bunch of emotions. So as I made my way back to the car (without fainting) and shut the door, I broke down in tears. I thought my days of panic attacks were over long ago. I thought I had the strength to keep them from happening again. Well friends, I was wrong. Sitting there in the car, I felt defeated. I felt like Satan was winning my spiritual battle and I had no where to go.
What brought all of it on? Well, I could name a list. It could be the fact that soon I will be living much farther away from my parents and my brother.... or my grandmother causing more chaos... or the start of a new semester... However here's the key, I'm no good with change. I have trouble leaving the details to God. I worry about the little stuff until it piles up and sends me over the edge. As I lay here typing, I am emotionally drained. I am waiting for God to intervene when He is saying He's been here the whole time... fighting for me.
As time passes and I think about how far God has brought me in my walk with Him, I remember I am not alone. Do you suffer panic attacks? Have you had horrifying thoughts cross your mind? Let me remind you, this is not of God. Our heavenly Father wants His children to give it all to Him and not live in fear. What is scaring you? What keeps you awake at night? Do you know that through the hardest of times, God is bringing you closer to Him? When I am too weak to walk, He carries me. When I am scared silly, He gives me peace. Stop allowing Satan to bring you down. Focus on God, our Daddy in heaven, and He will lift you up.
Be at Peace Through the Words From our Savior
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 1 John 4:4
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
This past week I was on my way to visit family when.... I lost control. We pulled off at Wendy's to get a drink and take a restroom break when my mind gave in to hell. See, earlier that morning I was mistakenly given a grande latte instead of my usual tall. Ladies and gentlemen, I am now refraining from caffeine for the next several weeks. Standing in line, I felt my body going limp as the fear of fainting came over me. My mind immediately pulled together these thoughts...
1) You are having an aneurysm and will die shortly.
2) You're blood sugars are messed up and you will be diagnosed with diabetes.
3) You are having a heart attack.
4) You're mentally unstable and need to be checked into a mental hospital.
See, what most likely happened is that I experienced a caffeine rush which in turn sent my heart racing. I had little to eat that morning, so caffeine on a nearly empty stomach will of course bring on panic attacks. On top of the caffeine, I felt a panic attack coming on for a good 2 weeks and simply tried to avoid it at all costs. However, what I learned is that it's better to give in and let go then store and save up a whole bunch of emotions. So as I made my way back to the car (without fainting) and shut the door, I broke down in tears. I thought my days of panic attacks were over long ago. I thought I had the strength to keep them from happening again. Well friends, I was wrong. Sitting there in the car, I felt defeated. I felt like Satan was winning my spiritual battle and I had no where to go.
What brought all of it on? Well, I could name a list. It could be the fact that soon I will be living much farther away from my parents and my brother.... or my grandmother causing more chaos... or the start of a new semester... However here's the key, I'm no good with change. I have trouble leaving the details to God. I worry about the little stuff until it piles up and sends me over the edge. As I lay here typing, I am emotionally drained. I am waiting for God to intervene when He is saying He's been here the whole time... fighting for me.
As time passes and I think about how far God has brought me in my walk with Him, I remember I am not alone. Do you suffer panic attacks? Have you had horrifying thoughts cross your mind? Let me remind you, this is not of God. Our heavenly Father wants His children to give it all to Him and not live in fear. What is scaring you? What keeps you awake at night? Do you know that through the hardest of times, God is bringing you closer to Him? When I am too weak to walk, He carries me. When I am scared silly, He gives me peace. Stop allowing Satan to bring you down. Focus on God, our Daddy in heaven, and He will lift you up.
Be at Peace Through the Words From our Savior
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 1 John 4:4
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
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