God, Are You There?

Once upon a time, my brother and I were sound asleep in our favorite place to be: our parents' bedroom. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was summer time, pitch dark outside, and late at night when the phone rang. Laying there on the sofa, I jerked awake. As I opened my eyes, there above me, hovering over me and my brother, was a bright glowing figure. In my ear, it whispered, "Everything is going to be okay." Not knowing what the phone call was about, I felt a sense of peace. Turning away, I saw my daddy; his face was red and covered in tears.

His oldest sister who he held dearest to his heart was in ICU. The doctors knew she wouldn't make it. Her time here on earth was almost up. My daddy was beside himself. In any other circumstance, I would have panicked. I would have cried my eyes out immediately after seeing my daddy cry. However, God had given me a sense of peace. God who cares about each and every one of us so much, sent his angel to whisper words of comfort in my ear. My brother and I were in elementary school at the time. We couldn't have been more than 5 and 7 years of age. As the clock ticked, time stood still. I would never forget that night: the night the angel appeared.

Within a few days we were headed for Florida to celebrate my Aunt Kimmy's arrival through Heaven's Pearly Gates. So many people see funerals as depressing, a time to mourn, a time to wear black, and cry your eyes out. I'm not going to say that it's not right to think this way. However, when Jesus comes to take us home, isn't it suppose to be a time of joy and celebration? (It should be if that's where you and your loved ones are headed).

I have something unusual about myself that I'll go ahead and share with those who may find it interesting. God has truly blessed me. Some people may label it as a disability, but I would have to disagree. When I am presented with unexpected, tragic news, I laugh. In my research, I have found no name for this. Now the reason this occurs: the brain miss communicates signals. Whether or not I cry or laugh, the function is mostly involuntary. So while I stand off to the side at funerals, I am only trying to keep from looking like a jerk. Ultimately, the brain is in charge of the body's functions and emotions. The way I see it: God has kept me from a blotchy face and tear stained dress. When Jesus takes me home, I don't want people to cry! I want them to laugh, smile, and rejoice! Heaven stands free of sadness, worry, anger, and depression. Why would I want others to mourn when I'm shouting with excitement in the arms of my Heavenly Father?


After my Aunt Kimmy's funeral, my mom received a call from her sister and brother-in-law that my Papa was in ICU. Within hours, my mom was headed up to South Carolina. Praise the Lord it wasn't time for my Papa to pass; I do not think my mom could have handled it. She spent hours at a time up at the hospital, trading out every now and then with our other family members. God healed my Papa. God held my family so close to Him, we knew as children of God He would never let us go. Everything is in God's hands. If I didn't have Jesus I would have cried, worried, and panicked; but God sent me an angel. That peace that passes all understanding filled the air. After about a week, my family was back together, re-entering our comfort zone. Weeks passed, and I still thought about the angel; that night played over and over in my mind.

On lonely nights in my dorm room, I lay and wonder, "God are you there?" I can hear the noise of the cars out my window, the sound of skateboards skimming the pavement, and ambulance sirens ringing throughout the city; and then I see a flash of memories fly through my head. The Alpha and Omega, Beginning and the End, the everlasting God who sent His son to die on the cross and reigns forever reminds me.... "I am always HERE!" He never leaves and He never sleeps. Although I have seen an angel, I do want to remind you: You don't have to see to believe; believing is seeing. I believe in angels and that they are everywhere. They look out for us and keep us safe. They are God's warriors in the spiritual battle as we are His on Earth. So in case you ever wonder: Where are you God? Know that although you cannot see Him and sometimes cannot feel His presence... He is there. Your Faith will pull you through.

Scripture for the week (Your rock of foundation):

"For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you. -Isaiah 54:10

May the God of hope fill you with all the joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. -Romans 15:13

Comments

  1. sara this makes me smile .

    -shakyla

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  2. Awe thanks girl!! I never know who reads these.. and it always makes me feel good when people comment...

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