The nightmare in my life during that time seemed impossible to wake up from. It seemed impossible to be able to lay down at night and fall asleep without an anxiety attack or worry of some sort. As you've probably already read.. if you've kept up with my blog lol, I was previously a Worry Wart! So naturally, you can probably understand when I say I had trouble falling asleep at night without having an anxiety attack. Worry leads to anxiety. At least for me, that is.
When I was experiencing all those sleepless nights, my mom would remind me, "Praise God for the day you stop having them." So at night, before I'd fall asleep, I'd pray thanking God for the night I'd be able to sleep again (worry free). You know that feeling you get when you feel like you are coming down with a cold... that feeling you just can't quite figure out how to prevent? That's like an anxiety attack; preventing it seems impossible. But I have wonderful news!! God is so good! After weeks of failed attempts trying to stop my anxiety attacks by reading my Bible, praying, going outside, etc... God blessed me with an answer!
One night, I had a dream. I was in a small room. Satan appeared and decided to make the walls of the room burst in flames. He began laughing at me. Then he set the door on fire, leaving me with no way out. Then all of a sudden, Jesus appeared. He looked at me with a smile and said, sing "Jesus Loves Me." So I did! And all of a sudden, the fire went out and Satan vanished.
The next night, I felt an attack coming on, I remembered my dream. So I began singing "Jesus Loves Me." And sure enough, my anxiety attack stopped before it started. As time passed, I learned how to keep my mind from even going into attack mode. I was able to focus and read my Bible, whereas before I was so concerned with my anxieties, I couldn't head them off in time enough. The more your attack progresses, the more difficult it is to stop them. But I am here today to say, God does not leave His children in the dark. And during that year, He taught me how to let go of myself. He grew me in my faith. He showed me how mighty He is. He cradled me during that nightmare. With every tear, with every sleepless night, He was right there. He has strengthened me. He has made me for greater things than I can imagine, just as He has made you. Living in a nightmare? Does it seem like there's no way out of that hole you've gotten yourself into? Call on Him, and I promise you, He will answer!
Bible says what?
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6
"My flesh and my strength may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." -Psalm 73:26