Why must we feel such a need to compete and be the best at everything in this fallen world? The girl above was me... and is me. It is so difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that sometimes God allows us to go through failures at times only to make us grow and deepen our relationship with Him. I have been a hard worker most all of my life as nothing comes truly easy; but this semester is truly kicking my rear. I mean... talk about kicking a horse while he's down! I have spent hours of putting effort into the work I do only to receive negative results. Friends, if you have any idea as to who I am or my personality, you'll find that this is not an easy pill for me to swallow. How does it feel when the world says you aren't good enough? We strive to be good! What happens when we are mediocre.. what happens when we've put in so much effort only to fail? Let me just say that I am so thankful to have my best friend to remind me of why I'm here! I'm not here to please the world. I won't ever measure up based on worldly standards. I may work my rear off and fail at things in life... but as long as I am striving to do my best for God... He is all that matters!
God has taught me quite a bit during this season of life. The funny part is that I specifically asked Him to! I told Him that since my boyfriend would be gone for a while and I was about to jump into a crazy new life at a new school that I would dedicate this time to Him. Friends, He took it and ran with it! I have never been so skeptical about the changes in my life as those He is making now. I am in my 20s, trying to finish school. I have no clue what degree or path He wants for me, but I am ok. I have surpassed the point of frustration and have learned to shut my mouth for this ride. I know He never quits a journey before reaching a destination and for this road trip I'm sure I have many many stops along the way. There have been times I've felt He's pulled the car over and told me it's time to grow up and be a woman! I know in my heart it's time to be independent and make my decisions based only on Him. Though I can honestly say it isn't always easy by any means! However, He's truly my husband for all of eternity and my life is in His hands on His timing so I may as well surrender it ALL now! The changes I've made recently in how I handle situations and conduct myself as a head strong young lady have had great impact in my life; but I can honestly say that He get's all the credit.
A song came on the radio earlier this week (along with many) and several lines really hit home with me...
"From where I'm standing, it's hard for me to see; but You're already there..... My future is a memory because You are already there." -Casting Crowns "Already There"
So many times we can't see what lies ahead; but take courage friends! He won't let you down! He goes before you and behind you. In whatever season of life you are in, whether you've hit some bumps in the road or come to dead ends... maybe you feel you need a U-turn or you're at an intersection and don't know where to turn... remember, He's there. No matter how many times He pulls the car over and you feel like you are never going to get there.. enjoy the ride. Someday, you will look back and realize just how important that trip was!
P.S I know my blogs get repetitive...same story line... similar endings. Again, just like any parent who repeats things over and over, these moments keep reoccurring and I'm sure it's God's way of repeating as a parent does. As children, we don't always get things the first time around!
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."
"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him."