And So... It Begins

Once upon a time, I stood in an empty room. Four bare, sky blue walls faced me and all I could think about were the years of memories held within them. It's funny how quickly time passes without a moments notice. One day I'm sitting in that room with my dolls playing house and the next I'm saying goodbye as my family packs up and I head back to college. Never again will I step foot in that room. I remember laying in bed thinking, "I wonder who I'll be when I'm older. I wonder what I'll look like. I wonder when I'll be married." I've never met a little girl who didn't like to think about those things. Now I lay in bed and think, "If only I could go back to that time, where life was that simple. I would enjoy nap time, eating my vegetables, and having most every decision made for me." Sometimes I pretend I'm back home. I'm surrounded by my pillows and blankets and my parents are just down the hall. Some may say I'm strange, but I don't care. The Lord blessed me with a wonderful childhood and a family He knew would mean the world to me.

There are nights when I long for that little girl I once was. Crawling in bed with my parents because of a bad dream or a scary noise was comforting. Now, I have to rely solely on our Lord. Friends, when you hear a noise, how badly do you wish you had your parents arms to run to? It's difficult at times to swallow that dose of reality making you realize that you are now an adult. Feeling alone is not a feeling the average person enjoys. In the end, we can't help but grow up, move out, and make a life of our own, no matter how we feel. I've reached the point in my relationship with the Lord where I finally feel like He is my groom. Those days where I see couples walking hand in hand and sharing pet names and complimenting each other, I am reminded that the love of my life is so amazing He can't even compare. I am never fully alone. I have the Lord 24/7 and He never ceases to amaze me. Though I can't always feel Him or hear Him, I know He is there. I wouldn't change my relationship with Him for the world; no matter how desperate I may feel at times. Once we take control and put our time and focus on our relationship with the Lord, everything will fall into place. What greater plans the Lord will have for you once you begin living your own life rather than when you are depending on your parents to make life's decisions. Our life is too precious to take for granted and live according to how someone else thinks we should.

Now I lay here in my new bed, in my new house, staring at khaki colored walls covered in pictures. All I can think is, "There are many memories to be made and stored in these 4 walls." I have been blessed with an amazing, supportive family and a loving group of friends. Though I am sad every now and then, it's okay. I know the Lord has my life laid out and my path chosen. I continue to pray that the Lord directs me and blesses those I come into contact with everyday. When I said goodbye to my family and watched them in the rear view mirror as I drove away, I said goodbye to a small chapter in a big book. There's still plenty more chapters to go. I'm just beginning... life on my own, but NEVER alone.

 Find it in Scripture!

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”  
Hebrews 13:5

 For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him....
2 Chronicles 16:9

Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!
Psalm 31:24
          

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