Sunday, May 8, 2011

"Whiny Butt Self"

Once upon a time, I felt like a little old lady; one who was quite a whiny butt. What a hypochondriac... always complaining of ailments and becoming so needy and clingy that I started disliking myself; not who I was, but how I felt and my actions. Praise the Lord, my family can stand living with me at times when I feel my "old, whiny butt self" coming on! Imagine hearing this all day, "Momma, my arm hurts and I don't know why... My heart is racing... I'm anxious... My head hurts... etc!" Do you think that's irritating? How about this, "Momma, I need you..." over and over again? Kids normally give that up when their 5 unless something is physically or mentally wrong. Here I get so wrapped up in myself, that I forget about those in the world who are actually suffering. It's a terrible habit. No wonder God still has me single... who'd want to date a mess like me right now? LOL I'm still in the molding process and hoping God helps me to rid this "whiny butt self" out of me soon!

In my earlier posts, you may have read where I was once a worry wart. Later, in that post, I made it clear that I am way better at not worrying than I used to be. However, that doesn't necessarily mean that I NEVER worry. How many people can actually sit down and not worry, complain, or think about themselves for an entire day? It's impossible!

Now is the time to deduce why my "whiny butt" has presented itself lately. Stress can cause a person to feel gloomy, irritable,tired, and selfish. Therefore, all those times I held back my tears during Freshman Year of college have caught up with me making me an emotional basket case. I made my first C in college, and though I have a great GPA, I felt like a failure (forget my parents were so wonderful and uplifting!). Unmentionables are making me so darn frustrated because I can't see the BIG PICTURE God has for my life and family. On top of all of that, I feel as though I'm in a waiting period... waiting for God to answer me. These things should be behind me, or not bothersome. Though I cannot pretend I'm not affected, I need to learn how to breathe and push on. Yet, I still feel like laying down and crying my eyes out. Maybe that's what I need... just let go and give everything to God.

How often do you find yourself bottling up your emotions? Do you feel tired and gloomy? Do you feel a dark cloud hovering? Take a step back and ask yourself, "What am I keeping inside of me that has me feeling down?" Then pray and give your burdens to God. It's amazing the joy and strength you will feel enter your body again.

So here's my goal:
Letting go and realizing God is in control. (aka: leaving my "old whiny butt self" behind").

Words to build your Foundation:

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,who daily bears our burdens."
-Psalms 68:19

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
-Philippians 4:6-7